I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I need to align my fucking chakras
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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