i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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