No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
