I puked a lego.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
