I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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