Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
