she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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