You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
