I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
