My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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