I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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