oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Blow job season was short but glorious.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
