I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
