I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
