I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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