Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
