Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
