I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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