I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
false alarm, still single
Randomize
