Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
