im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You took a bar mat shot.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
50% drunk capacity currently
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
