Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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