I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
