I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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