guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
