Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
