I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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