nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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