Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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