what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You left your phone here
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