He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
