Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Randomize
