new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
someone owes me an orgasm
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Randomize
