NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
