There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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