Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize