i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
