My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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