I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
