I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
