The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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