Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
