I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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