You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize