I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
