Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
