Whats the glycemic index on semen?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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