I wannas sexs uuuuu
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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