You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
