Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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