***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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