Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
