Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
