Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
