Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
i need some magic done to my vagina
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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