it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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