Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
