i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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