sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
