the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
