My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
