I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
