i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Its about making memories worth repressing
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize