why didn't you poke me back
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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